Conflicts have a way of gaining their own destructive momentum. When General Joab brought his army to the gates of Abel to catch a single rebel named Sheba in 2 Samuel 20, he was prepared to destroy an entire city to get his man. The battering rams were in position, the mounds were built, and the people inside were terrified. The official leadership of the city seemed paralyzed by the encroaching army.
Then, what the scriptures call a wise woman appeared on the wall. She didn’t meet Joab with a sword, but with a question that reframed the entire crisis: “Why will you swallow up the heritage of the Lord?” She reminded the ruthless commander of the city’s long-standing reputation for wisdom and peace. With sharp logic and deep historical roots, she negotiated a solution that satisfied the demands of justice without the unnecessary bloodshed of thousands. She de-escalated a military catastrophe through the power of strategic, theological dialogue.
In our polarized world, it’s easy to become a battering ram—to be so right about our cause that we don’t care who we crush in the process. This woman, a self-described Mother in Israel, reminds us that “wise speech” is a high-ground skill. She took the side of the community’s survival rather than the side of the conflict’s ego. This week, when you find yourself in the middle of a siege—whether in a family feud or a workplace tension—be the one who goes to the wall to talk. Your willingness to negotiate could save a heritage that others are willing to burn down.